I am a soft hearted guy. I care too much sometimes. I genuinely do care for people, even ones I've just met online.

Not sure why that is, either. It's not like the people I know online will likely enter my immediate real world vicinity. Yet does that matter to my heart? No. I do care.

Foolishly, often, and strangely, I care about people. Love people. I'm not perfect, no I'm selfish, vain, obstinate, crazy, strange, weird and lazy.

Yet the one thing that cannot be said of me is that I have a hard heart. I worry genuinely enough to have panicked in worry over friends disappearances and people I once knew.

Sometimes it was hurtful partings. People uncaring, or un-knowledgeable of my illness and just how much it drags me down. It happens, and I'm always wishing I did not suffer and have this illness to impede my relationships. Yes I'm depressed, yes I cannot just wipe that away and NOT be depressed--that simply isn't how depression works. (If it did, we wouldn't need call it depression, just sadness)

So many friends I've lost to the vagaries of the world and the net, so many I'd like to have back. Because they've vanished without adding to my sorrows except by their absence.


Those of you out there, just remember I really do care for you, if I say so. I really do bear affection, even love.

No that doesn't mean I want in your pants. Sorry, they won't fit (I'm pretty sure of that.)

On the other hand, as a straight male, there are a few women, that I wish, cared back for me, honestly, the same as I could care for them. I doubt it will ever happen. I've hopes, but such seems to be not the way of my life.

In the end, the only thing that matters is that I DO care. First and foremost. Call me flawed, soft hearted, weak. Whatever you wish, that will not change me. Despite all the pain people have put me through (and I've allowed some of that and bear equal blame.) I really can't stop being who I am.

While I'm waxing on such things, please look around your world. Make sure those that matter to you, those wonderful souls you know well? Let them know YOU care too.

Life is short, far too short for most of us. So say what you need to say, while such mood is upon you. It won't change the world, it may not change your life, but it will offer up a little bit of wonder to the world.